Into the Wardrobe

I would recommend that you read Lewis' The Four Loves before you start even defining what love is. If it ends, then it isn't really love; it could be only infatuation.

I've only been married for 11 months, so I realize that I am still very much in the "honeymoon" phase and cannot speak from the experience of multiple years or decades, but I believe that the statement from Mere Christianity is true. Even in my first year I can see the folly of pinning all of my marriage on my feelings, because they do indeed come and go. A bad night's sleep or a particularly stressful week can have a distinct effect on how I feel about everything, including my husband. But I don't fear those times because I know that our relationship is deeper than that. We work hard at communicating well and staying well connected with each other, and this is how that greater depth of love begins to form.

Let me encourage you that this change is not something to be afraid of. When a couple gets married, they (should) begin to develop a sense of attachment to each other. This sense of attachment is much deeper than being infatuated or excitedly in love. Proper attachment is what makes you want to seek comfort primarily in each other when you go through a difficult time - when we are growing up that person is usually one of our parents, but after a couple gets married, they begin to find that ultimate comfort in each other. It's what makes you feel like family and not just lovers. It's what helps you stay committed to each other for a lifetime.

I also encourage you to read the recommended chapter from Mere Christianity. It might also be helpful to remember that Joy and Lewis were only married about three years, which means that they did not have the opportunity to experience many of the changes that Lewis discusses in Mere Christianity, and this probably colored some of his thoughts in A Grief Observed (it's been awhile since I read it, so I cannot quote anything specific). The change would not be due to any change of mind on the truth of his previous statement, but on the fact that his experience of grief took place during the early, rather than later, stages of marriage.