Into the Wardrobe

Oh boy, do I know what you mean Robin! I too am seen as the backslider in my family because I don't tick all the boxes of outward holiness expected by them. They, like your relations, quote scripture endlessly, never miss a church service or prayer meeting, carry big glossy bibles and have impeccable 'reformed' credentials.
I really feel for you because these superficially religious types are capable of hardening their hearts more than anyone I know and they are so convinced of their Godliness that it's wellnigh impossible to argue with them. Yet scripture says those who claim to know God but have not love are 'deceiving themselves.' And to use one's professed 'christianity' as a means of leaving your family out in the cold...that's the saddest thing of all :( I will pray for you and your situation.

I am so very sorry to hear of your sad situation, Robin. In my view, the unfortunate approaches you describe on the part of your relatives almost certainly come from a fear-based willful ignorance deliberately fostered by their own religious leadership.

I'm not saying that theological differences among Christians are either unimportant or shouldn't be discussed. But, indeed, the fact that some groups have to paint manifestly false pictures of other christian traditions as part of their own "program" is a sign of profound institutional spiritual weakness, I believe.

It seems to me that both honesty and charity require that we allow other Christian fellowships to speak, first of all, on their own behalf. Investment in falsehood is unworthy of anyone who would call Jesus "Lord." It should be a serious warning sign when polemicists can't (or won't) hear, "Your description of our belief/experience we simply don't recognize." There's really no conversation (or possibility of conversation) in such a dynamic.

Blessings on you, you wife, and your children (and the rest of your family, too.)

Adam

P.S. A good Holy Week and joyous Easter to you.

Thanks Adam, I do feel that no amount of explanation will do with them, no matter what I do - only their approach is "based on the Bible". Also thanks Rhoop, as I grow older in my walk of faith I discover that what God asks of us is most often the simple things like honesty, integrity, kindness etc. The funny thing is I was a Christian years ahead of these people, and it is through my life experiences and much reading and prayer that I find myself where I am. I guess I have always been hoping that they will come to understand me in due time. I guess it's attitudes like theirs that drove me away from evangelicalism in the first place!

Our discussion reminded me of the magnificent (and chilling) passage from Lewis’ “Screwtape Proposes a Toast,” near the end, where he speaks of the vintage blended Pharisee of which they are about to partake…

“The wickedness of other religions was the really live doctrine in each; slander was its gospel and denigration its litany. How they hated each other up there where the son shone! How much more they hate each other now that they are forever conjoined but not reconciled.”

Some reference in this thread had been made to Reformed tradition. Richard Mouw, noted Reformed theologian (and President of Fuller Theological Seminary) comes to mind, as well. I can’t say that I’m very familiar with his work, but I recently ran across something of his that I rather liked. He discusses what he calls “the generosity option.” (Calvinism in the Las Vegas Airport, chapter 8)

I do rather like that… an option that we all wish were more often chosen, I’m sure.

All the best.