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New Catholic faux pas

New Catholic faux pas

Postby Stanley Anderson » June 1st, 2007, 3:11 pm

Ok, so I'm sure that many here know that we are fairly recent converts to Catholicism. But before that we were traditional Anglicans for 24 years and the two are fairly close in many respects. So the transition, while it takes some adjustment has not been terribly difficult. And since being confirmed before Lent, we have been receiving Communion for about three months about three times a week. It's been going fine with nary a slip up as far as I knew. You go up, bow slightly, cup your hands, the priest (or whoever) says "The Body of Christ", places a wafer in your hands and you put it in your mouth, cross yourself and go sit down. Pretty much the same as we did in the Anglican Church for 24 years before that. Nothing new in the technique. Again, as far as I knew -- and it had been working well that way for the last three months.

So. Last Monday we went to a special Memorial Day outdoor Mass at a local cemetery where people from another church conducted the Mass. Since we happened to be in the first row of chairs I ended up being the first one in line to receive Communion from the deacon in that area. I walked up cupped my hands and he said "The Body of Christ" and waited. After a second he said "What do you say?"

My mind reeled. What should I say? Frantically I tried to think of possible replies. I immediately rejected "Thank you!", "...And also with you", and "The Blood of Christ". I searched mentally for other choices. Random phrases raced through my head -- "Four score and seven years ago...", "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God...", "Don't Tread on Me", "I pledge allegiance to the flag...", "Hail Mary", "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away...", nothing seemed to fit.

Of course you all know what simple thing I was supposed to say, but I was blank, and finally the deacon told me "you say 'Amen'...", so I did, he gave me the wafer and I went on back to my seat, all defensive, thinking "but nobody ever told me...", and "where's the rewind button..." and "I wonder if anyone will notice if I just go sit in the last row in the back".

So anyway, don't worry. I'm all better now, and you can be certain I'll never forget that little bit of propriety again. HOWEVER, I have to say that when we went to our regular Tuesday night Mass the next evening, I could hardly keep the smile off my face as I walked up to receive Communion thinking to myself "whatever you do, don't accidentally say Thank you". See, it's just such a natural thing ingrained in your head since childhood to think, when someone says "what do you say?" that the proper expected response is "Thank you", that it was hard for me to keep it straight. I almost messed it up again.

Whew!
Amen,
--Stanley
(Anyone got any other similar church faux pas' they'd care to relate?)
…on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a fair green country under a swift sunrise.
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Postby Gina » June 1st, 2007, 4:16 pm

:lol: Thanks for the laugh, Stanley!

Gina *back for a week or so, and waving "hello" to everyone*
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Re: New Catholic faux pas

Postby Karen » June 1st, 2007, 4:57 pm

I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library. -- Jorge Luis Borges
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Postby A#minor » June 1st, 2007, 5:48 pm

Does it have to be a Catholic church faux pas? Here's a Mexican/Baptist one:

In Mexico they don't keep their children quiet and still during a church service the way we do in the States (or possibly in Europe). When we were starting a church in Ixtlahuaca we had asked most of our regular people to either send their kids to the nursery/ children's church/ Sunday school or to keep them quiet and relatively still during the sermon.

But we had some visitors one Sunday with three small children who didn't want their kids sent to the nursery. The parents sat on the front row and ignored their kids actions completely.
My dad started preaching and those kids were not quiet. Our church had a wall almost entirely of windows immediately behind the pulpit. All windows in Mexico have bars on them and these happened to be horizontal bars.

All three of those kids wandered up onto the stage behind the pulpit and began climbing up the window bars until they were practically on the ceiling (about 9 feet off the ground)! And their mother did not do anything! She was totally oblivious to the fact that her children were not only disturbing the service but were in peril of falling and smashing their little skulls! Finally my mom went up and got them down and escorted them to the nursery.

That one became another church joke for the next few years. :lol:
I grew up knowing that if I spoke above the tiniest whisper or fidgeted too much I'd be getting a whipping after church, but in Mexican services they let their kids talk and run up and down the aisles sometimes.
"My brain and this world don't fit each other, and there's an end of it!" - G.K. Chesterton
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Postby girlfreddy » June 1st, 2007, 7:35 pm

How would telling people to be nice to one another get a man crucified? What government would execute Mister Rogers or Captain Kangaroo?
Philip Yancey

http://girlfreddy.wordpress.com/
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Postby Leslie » June 1st, 2007, 8:35 pm

"What are you laughing at?"
"At myself. My little puny self," said Phillipa.
--Rumer Godden, In This House of Brede
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Re: New Catholic faux pas

Postby Stanley Anderson » June 4th, 2007, 3:16 pm

…on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a fair green country under a swift sunrise.
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Postby Karen » June 4th, 2007, 3:26 pm

Heh. What a blessing for both of you to be able to serve the church like that. I'm a lector, and it's a very powerful thing to get up there and read scripture to the whole congregation. It's also very humbling (and nerve-wracking if you've got an OT passage with unpronounceable names!) and makes you realize (not that you don't already, but it emphasizes it, at least to me) how eternal those words are.
I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library. -- Jorge Luis Borges
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Postby Stanley Anderson » June 4th, 2007, 3:44 pm

…on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a fair green country under a swift sunrise.
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Postby Josh » June 4th, 2007, 4:35 pm

ecclesia semper reformata, semper reformanda.

--John Calvin
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Postby Karen » June 4th, 2007, 4:37 pm

I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library. -- Jorge Luis Borges
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Postby Karen » June 4th, 2007, 4:39 pm

I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library. -- Jorge Luis Borges
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Postby Guest » June 4th, 2007, 4:52 pm

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Postby Stanley Anderson » June 4th, 2007, 5:11 pm

…on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a fair green country under a swift sunrise.
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Postby Leslie » June 4th, 2007, 9:36 pm

"What are you laughing at?"
"At myself. My little puny self," said Phillipa.
--Rumer Godden, In This House of Brede
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