Catholic Annulments

[john]

I need some help from those of you who may know something about annulments and the Catholic church.

My girlfriend was contacted by her ex-husband, stating that he's remarrying a Catholic girl, and needs her to grant an annulment. Now, our research indicates that an annulment is only based on something that occurred before a marriage, and not something that might have occurred during a marriage. Interestingly enough, he's saying that an annulment should be granted based on the fact she didn't want children, even though they both agreed before marriage that they wouldn't...and it was he who changed his mind later (there's a lot more involved, and that really wasn't the reason for the divorce). Additionally, we read that there's a difference between a religious annulment and a civil annulment.

So...I guess what I'm asking...could somebody please tell me what the proper grounds of a Catholic annulment would be? From our research, it seems that for her to grant an annulment, my girlfriend would have to admit to something that never happened.

Help? Thanks.

[Tuke]

[moogdroog]

[Leslie]

I don't think an annulment necessarily has to be the "fault" of just one partner of the marriage. If both partners had married with the understanding that they didn't want children, that would invalidate the marriage in the eyes of the Catholic church just as much as if only one partner didn't want children. It would be a case of both partners not understanding the full true nature of marriage according to Catholic doctrine, instead of just one. The links that moogdroog provided use the phrase "one or both parties".

The fact that the husband changed his mind about children during the marriage is, I think, irrelevant. The salient fact would be that they entered the marriage not intending to have children.

A civil annulment doesn't have anything to do with the Catholic church. It's a state legal matter, and is granted when a marriage is shown to have taken place under circumstances when someone was impaired (like being drunk in Las Vegas and stumbling into the wedding chapel), or where there's bigamy, fraud, duress, incest, lack of consummation, etc. A Catholic annulment, interestingly, has no legal status -- it's a purely internal church matter.

The chances of being granted a Catholic annulment are pretty good - statistics for 2002 show that about 80% of requests are granted.

[john]

Thanks for the information, all of you! It's been very, very helpful in figuring out exactly what this is all about and what needs to get done. We are getting some conflicting information about what the "respondent" (what they would call my girlfriend in this matter) really needs to do. We've read that if there is no disagreement, the respondent doesn't have to do a thing...but we've also read that no matter what, they need to fill out a lot of paperwork (including answers to very personal questions), have interviews with clergy, pay between $50 and $500, etc.

But, we'll continue to look through the resources and see what we can come up with. Thanks again!

[robsia]

Wow - if it were me I wouldn't pay anything. The person who wants the annulment should pay. I have nothing useful to add though - I know nothing about this stuff. Just sharing my gut response.

[Tuke]

I am curious Protestant.
How does a priest, or even The Pope, undo what "no man should put assunder," especially after consumation? How did Ted Kennedy get an annulment from the mother of his children? The Bible is pretty cut and dry on consumation.
Discerning Protestants want to know.

[Ben2747]

John - I absolutely agree with the prior posts. There is some counseling that needs to happen, and there will be a tribunal. There is usually a council that is run by the chancery. Your girlfriend's ex-husband and his fiancee should contact their parish priest to get the process started. I disagree with one former statement, in that 50% of all annulments granted worldwide are issued in the US. We are "annulment happy" in this country - it's easier than you might think. In this case, however, it seems like a straight-forward case. If one or both parties entered the marriage intending not to have children, then there was never a marriage. That's what an annulment is. A recognition that there was some impediment which prevented the marriage from occuring at the time the parties exchanged their vows. A change of intention later on is not a determining factor, and it didn't have to be both parties, anyhow.

There is no blame, no accusation, no finding of "fault" in this process. In fact, it might be a real blessing, both to your girlfriend and to her ex-husband, in the sense that it can give both of them an opportunity to reflect on marriage and the total giving of self to the other in their NEW relationships! I guess, in that sense, it can be a blessing to all of you. And it doesn't even sound like people have to "get their story straight," or manipulate the truth to get an outcome. That would be pointless, anyhow. An annulment is simply a statement of fact. When people talk about the Church "granting an annulment," the word "grant" can be a little misleading. It's not as if the Church is changing the status of their marriage. It's simply recognizing the fact that it never was, in the first place.

Interestingly enough, a priest did not marry your girlfriend and her ex-husband. If there was a marriage (and it sounds like there wasn't), THEY were the administrators of the sacrament. This is unique among all the sacraments - the priest is an observer, but does not cause the sacrament to come to be. The priest just blessed that "marriage." But if they did not have the intention to do what the Church says you do when you do, in fact, get married, it's essentially as if two people stood at the altar and said, "I apple pie your nose hair." There were two people, and they both said something, but that's the extent of it. In fact, saying the non-sensical thing with the right intention would have had more effect than saying the right thing with a different intention. Nobody is putting anything "assunder," because there never was a union.

[john]

Ben2747,

Thanks for input on this. For the record, neither my girlfriend nor her ex-husband are Catholic, and their marriage was performed by a Lutheran minister in the gardens of a restaurant. My girlfriend isn't even a Lutheran. She's completely non-affiliated with any religion at all. When she and her ex-husband divorced, that was all either of them needed and cared about as far as their marriage being over and done with. The only reason for this annulment is because his fiancee is a Catholic...but the man she's marrying isn't, and (as far as we're aware) has no intention of being one.

One question (and forgive me if this sounds naive, but I know very little about it): Why would the Catholic church require an annulment of a non-Catholic marriage? If (according to the church) only a Catholic marriage is recognized by God, then wouldn't a non-Catholic marriage be considered a sham? I mean, they're civilly divorced, and (according to Catholicism) never were married in the eyes of God. So, why would an annulment be even needed?

[Tuke]

[Tuke]

I'm still waiting for someone to explain how Ted Kennedy got an annulment from his children's mother.

[moogdroog]

[moogdroog]

[john]

Thanks, Moog, for your explanation. I get it now. It works in a vaguely similar way to the Mormons (where I have ample experience and knowledge). In Mormon theology, you can be married for "time only" by anybody with the authority to marry, and it's 100% recognized as a valid marriage according to the Mormon church. But it's only in a Mormon temple where you can be married for "time and all eternity" by somebody with the special authority to do that. Thus, a divorce is recognized as binding for "time" but another action is necessary to undo the "eternity" part. However, the Mormons believe, of course, that you must remain worthy in life in order to maintain the possibility of that eternal marriage -- so those of us who have left have nothing to fear of spending eons with somebody we couldn't get along with on earth.

[Tuke]