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A Joke by Tolkien

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A Joke by Tolkien

Postby A#minor » 21 Sep 2005, 02:29

I believe Tolkien wrote the following joke during his college days:

"A young man wished to purchase a birthday gift for a lady friend. After much meditation and consideration he decided upon a pair of gloves as being appropriate. As his sister had some shopping to do, he accompanied her to a ladies wearing apparel shop.
While he was selecting the gloves, his sister made a purchase of a pair of drawers for herself. In delivering the parcels that afternoon, by mistake the drawers were left at his sweetheart's door with a note as follows:

Dear Velma: This little token is to remind you that I haven't forgotten your birthday. I didn't choose it because I thought that you needed them, or because you haven't been in the habit of wearing them, or because we go out evenings. Had it not been for my sister I would have gotten long ones, but she says they are wearing the short ones - with one button.

They are a very delicate color, I know, but the lady clerk showed me a pair she had worn for three weeks, and they were scarcely soiled at all. How I wish I might put them on you for the first time! No doubt many other gentleman's hands will touch them before I get a chance to see you again, but I hope you will think of me every time you put them on.

I had the lady clerk try them on and they looked very neat on her. I did not know the exact size, but I should be capable of judging nearer than anyone else. When you put them on for the first time put a little powder in them and they will slip on easier. When you remove them, blow in the them before laying them away, as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.
Hoping that you will accept them in the same spirit in which they are given and that you will wear them to the dance Friday night,
I remain,
Lovingly yours,
John
P.S. Note the number of times I will kiss the back of them in the coming year! John"
"My brain and this world don't fit each other, and there's an end of it!" - G.K. Chesterton
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Postby Leslie » 22 Sep 2005, 03:50

I can't stop laughing ... :lol:
"What are you laughing at?"
"At myself. My little puny self," said Phillipa.
--Rumer Godden, In This House of Brede
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Postby A#minor » 22 Sep 2005, 14:07

Leslie wrote:I can't stop laughing ... :lol:

It is rather clever, isn't it? I never realized before that Tolkien was such a nut. :grin:
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Postby Stanley Anderson » 22 Sep 2005, 14:22

A#minor wrote:
Leslie wrote:I can't stop laughing ... :lol:

It is rather clever, isn't it? I never realized before that Tolkien was such a nut. :grin:


It reminds me of the story Lewis related in a discussion with two other science fiction authors (the transcript is in one of the collections -- can't look it up at the moment) about how a bishop watched a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream at a girl's school where all the parts were being played by girls. Afterwards, while praising the show, he talked about how he enjoyed it especially because he had never seen a female Bottom before.

--Stanley
…on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a fair green country under a swift sunrise.
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Postby A#minor » 22 Sep 2005, 14:26

Now I can't stop laughing! That is so disgusting. :rolleyes: But it's funny. :D

Here's another funny by Tolkien that I've found.

Tolkien and E.V.Gordon worked together to compile a Middle English edition of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight to be published for their university students. " It was a major contribution to the study of medieval literature - though Tolkien himself would often in later years entertain his audience at lectures by making disparaging references to some point of interpretation in the edition, as if he himself had nothing to do with it:
'Tolkien and Gordon were quite wrong, quite wrong when they said that! Can't imagine what they were thinking of!' he would say."
- J.R.R.Tolkien: A Biography by Humphrey Carpenter
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Postby A#minor » 22 Sep 2005, 14:43

And yet another bit of Tolkien:

"He could laugh at anybody, but most of all at himself, and his complete lack of any sense of dignity could and often did make him behave like a riotous schoolboy. He would dress up as an Anglo-Saxon warrior complete with axe and chase an astonished neighbour down the road.
Later in life he delighted to offer inattentive shopkeepers his false teeth among a handful of change.
'I have,' he once wrote,' a very simple sense of humour, which even my appreciative critics find tiresome.' "
- J.R.R.Tolkien:A Biography by Humphrey Carpenter
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Postby magpie » 22 Sep 2005, 15:56

A#minor wrote:
Leslie wrote:I can't stop laughing ... :lol:

It is rather clever, isn't it? I never realized before that Tolkien was such a nut. :grin:


I laughed so hard that I actually fell off my chair. Thanks for the day brightener!!! Do you have any more of these gems?
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Postby Leslie » 23 Sep 2005, 03:05

You'd better make sure you're strapped in before you read any more jokes, Magpie. ;)
"What are you laughing at?"
"At myself. My little puny self," said Phillipa.
--Rumer Godden, In This House of Brede
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Postby Warrior 4 Jesus » 23 Sep 2005, 09:38

I like the last ones, but can someone tell me what's funny about the first?

Thanks
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Funny!

Postby pedestrian73 » 23 Sep 2005, 11:07

It's hilarious! Where did you get it? Is it published in a book somewhere? Thanks! :lol:
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Postby Stanley Anderson » 23 Sep 2005, 12:46

Warrior 4 Jesus wrote:I like the last ones, but can someone tell me what's funny about the first?

Thanks


Perhaps you did not realize that "drawers" were not shelves that you pull out of a Wardrobe, but clothes that you might take out of a drawer in a Wardrobe:-)

(they're an old-fashioned word for something like underwear, though I've most often heard the term used for pants in general - my time was a bit after Tolkien's:-)

--Stanley
…on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a fair green country under a swift sunrise.
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Postby Ian » 23 Sep 2005, 12:54

The great Tolkieb all was had a good way in saying things.
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Re: Funny!

Postby A#minor » 23 Sep 2005, 14:52

pedestrian73 wrote:It's hilarious! Where did you get it? Is it published in a book somewhere? Thanks! :lol:


The "drawers" joke can be found in Humphrey Carpenter's J.R.R.Tolkien: A Biography.
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Re: Funny!

Postby pedestrian73 » 23 Sep 2005, 16:19

A#minor wrote:
pedestrian73 wrote:It's hilarious! Where did you get it? Is it published in a book somewhere? Thanks! :lol:


The "drawers" joke can be found in Humphrey Carpenter's J.R.R.Tolkien: A Biography.


Thank you very much! :)
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re: A Joke by Tolkien

Postby A#minor » 04 Oct 2005, 03:15

Here's some funny LOTR humor that I found. It's not by Tolkien or anything, but since it is humorous I thought this would be the best place to post it.

Tolkien comics and some campus humor
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