Into the Wardrobe

Prompted by the "A humourous fortune cookie" thread in the Caffe forum, I thought it might be interesting to have a similar thread here except it is the elves' lembas that have fortunes inside them and the fortunes would be directed at the various characters in LotR. Here are a couple examples:

When Boromir eats his lembas, he discovers a fortune that reads "You will take many of your oponents' points to heart"

Frodo, not being familiar with Spinal Tap's famous line "Ours go to eleven", wonders at the mysterious fortune in his lembas that reads "yours go to nine" and mistakenly thinks it refers to the members of the fellowship of the ring.

Well, any others?

--Stanley

what a great idea!

treebeard: you shall be hasty tomorrow.
denethor: beware of crystal balls.
sam: you shall be blessed with many children.
aragorn: not all gold glitters, but an occasional polish is good.

For the Mayor of Lake-Town:
Tomorrow is not a good day for an airshow.

For Miss R. Cotton: Fair blossoms from far-off lands bloom for you around the bend.

For Lotho Pimple: Haste not after another's wealth, lest you find yourself in a Bad End.

For Tom, Bert, and Bill---
Bert's says: Early to bed and late to rise makes you healthy, wealthy, and depetrified. Look it up.
Tom's says: Poor Richard tastes better with mustard on his legs.
Bill's says, um...
I don't think we'll ever know what Bill's said. Probably something like Don't eat the paper.

Those are good.

Witch-King of Angmar's fortune: If you're cocky, there's something you don't know. Pride cometh before the fall. Your lucky number is 9.

Frodo's fortune: Showing mercy to your enemies may come back to bite you.

Another for Tom Bombadil: Knock on wood for your neighbor's luck.

Hmm . . . all of you are really good at this game.

For Gollum: "Beware of biting off more than you can chew, preciousss. It will lead to your downfall."