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You Might Be a Narnian If...

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You Might Be a Narnian If...

Postby john » 03 Mar 2005, 13:37

Years ago, on the MereLewis mailing list, there was a thread about this, and I just dug it up from my email archives (dated Oct. 14, 1999). I thought it would be fun for those who haven't seen it (granted, some are better than others), and perhaps it can be added to.

You Might Be a Narnian If...

1. Your car has a bumpersticker that says "I brake for Marshwiggles."
2. Your fishing license has a stamp for Pavenders.
3. You have wading pools in your back yard that you periodically jump in to.
4. You taste water samples from lily ponds to see if they're sweet.
5. Christmas seems to take FOREVER to get here.
6. You examine every lamp-post you see for signs of root damage.
7. When you hear the word fau(w)n, you think not of Bambi, but of parcels and umbrellas.
8. You have a keen respect for mice.
9. You secretly breathe on statues in parks and whisper, "In the name of Aslan..."
10. You always reach inside wardrobes and touch the back...just in case.
11. When referring to your boss, you say "May He Live Forever."
12. You are always polite to animals.
13. You talk to animals.
14. Animals talk to you and you understand them!
15. You are a bit suspicious of middle-aged men wearing yellow and green rings.
16. Your preferred holiday destination is Archenland.
17. You know that the collective term for owls is "parliament."
18. You float, rather than fall, off cliffs.
19. You sometimes wonder if humans are a myth.
20. You have a tendency to suck your paws at inopportune times.
21. You have ever been beaten silly by a mouse.
22. You have ever set off fireworks underground for fun.
23. Your interest in astronomy was sparked by studying the Ship, the Hammer, and the Leopard.
24. You've ever had history lessons about the Jackdaw and the First Joke.
25. Bullies at school threaten that they know the Deplorable Word.
26. The ultimate insult you give to people is calling them "a second Rabadash."
27. You've ever sat around with several owls trying to impersonate Trumpkin.
28. You've ever mistaken a magician for an animal, vegetable, or mineral.
29. You are determined to live like a Narnian, even if there isn't any Narnia.
30. You always inquire at restaurants if it was a talking beast when you order venison.
31. You always clean your sword after battle.
32. The first time you ever heard the name Aslan, a curious feeling awoke inside you.
33. You know what a serious thing, a very serious thing indeed, it is to ask a centuar to stay for the weekend.
34. You like your sausages fat and piping hot and just the tiniest bit burnt.
35. You have conversations with your horse.
36. You have a strange approach/avoidance reaction to Lions.
37. You believe the stars in the heavens are people you have personally met.
38. You know that fireberries are a food.
39. You believe that a Lion can change a dragon into a boy by "peeling" him.
40. You enjoy having tea parties with fauns and beavers.
41. You know dwarves exist, but you are never sure which side they're on.
42. Your closet contains fur coats and pine boughs.
43. You carry an umbrella in the snow.
44. You look to see if a lone bird is carrying a red berry in its mouth.
45. You have a picture of a lion on prominent display in your home or office.
46. You hear the words "further up and further in" in the sound of every waterfall.
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Re: You Might Be a Narnian If...

Postby Stanley Anderson » 03 Mar 2005, 15:44

DrZeus wrote:Years ago, on the MereLewis mailing list, there was a thread about this, and I just dug it up from my email archives (dated Oct. 14, 1999). I thought it would be fun for those who haven't seen it (granted, some are better than others), and perhaps it can be added to.


Sounds familiar -- oh yeah! That was, er, uh, me, I guess. It actually started with Scott Baxter who posted the first two ("I brake for Marshwiggles" and the pavender fishing license stamp) and I continued it with some of my own. After it died down a bit on the Wardrobe forum I then posted the idea over in the MereLewis list to see what they could come up with there.

I've hightlighted the ones below in bold that were mine. The other unbolded ones were done by other Wardrobians or (more likely) MereLewis contributors.


You Might Be a Narnian If...

1. Your car has a bumpersticker that says "I brake for Marshwiggles."
2. Your fishing license has a stamp for Pavenders.

3. You have wading pools in your back yard that you periodically jump in to.
4. You taste water samples from lily ponds to see if they're sweet.
5. Christmas seems to take FOREVER to get here.
6. You examine every lamp-post you see for signs of root damage.
7. When you hear the word fau(w)n, you think not of Bambi, but of parcels and umbrellas.
8. You have a keen respect for mice. (my original wording was "You are not afraid of mice")
9. You secretly breathe on statues in parks and whisper, "In the name of Aslan..."
10. You always reach inside wardrobes and touch the back...just in case.


11. When referring to your boss, you say "May He Live Forever."
12. You are always polite to animals.
13. You talk to animals.
14. Animals talk to you and you understand them!
15. You are a bit suspicious of middle-aged men wearing yellow and green rings.
16. Your preferred holiday destination is Archenland.
17. You know that the collective term for owls is "parliament."
18. You float, rather than fall, off cliffs.
19. You sometimes wonder if humans are a myth.
20. You have a tendency to suck your paws at inopportune times.
21. You have ever been beaten silly by a mouse.
22. You have ever set off fireworks underground for fun.
23. Your interest in astronomy was sparked by studying the Ship, the Hammer, and the Leopard.
24. You've ever had history lessons about the Jackdaw and the First Joke.
25. Bullies at school threaten that they know the Deplorable Word.
26. The ultimate insult you give to people is calling them "a second Rabadash."
27. You've ever sat around with several owls trying to impersonate Trumpkin.
28. You've ever mistaken a magician for an animal, vegetable, or mineral.

29. You are determined to live like a Narnian, even if there isn't any Narnia
30. You always inquire at restaurants if it was a talking beast when you order venison.
31. You always clean your sword after battle.
32. The first time you ever heard the name Aslan, a curious feeling awoke inside you.
33. You know what a serious thing, a very serious thing indeed, it is to ask a centuar to stay for the weekend.
34. You like your sausages fat and piping hot and just the tiniest bit burnt.


35. You have conversations with your horse.
36. You have a strange approach/avoidance reaction to Lions.
37. You believe the stars in the heavens are people you have personally met.
38. You know that fireberries are a food.
39. You believe that a Lion can change a dragon into a boy by "peeling" him.
40. You enjoy having tea parties with fauns and beavers.
41. You know dwarves exist, but you are never sure which side they're on.
42. Your closet contains fur coats and pine boughs.
43. You carry an umbrella in the snow.
44. You look to see if a lone bird is carrying a red berry in its mouth.
45. You have a picture of a lion on prominent display in your home or office.
46. You hear the words "further up and further in" in the sound of every waterfall.
-------------------------------

(back to this post again)

There were also some more of my additions from my own archived file back then that are not on your list. (I had asked for more in my original request by writing "How about some more, you guys -- if you contribute one, you might be a Narnian:-) Here are the rest that I came up with at the time:

o You know what Turkish Delight is, even if you are an American.

o You honestly and diligently search for Truth, even if it leads you to the
God of your sworn enemies.

o You have ever met 'a dem fine woman' (well, maybe this one only means
you've BEEN to Narnia:-)

o You sometimes feel like the most unfortunate boy that ever lived in the
whole world (especially if, soon afterwards, you felt a breath and a heard a
voice that said "Tell me your sorrows").

o You like to roll around in the grass.

o You never get to find out what would have happened, and you only ever get
to hear about your own story.

o You mistrust nylons, lipstick, and invitations.

o You know that some insides are bigger than the outsides.

o Your are old enough to read children's stories (again).

o You like rhymes better than assy-thingummys.

o People notice that you are different than you were last year.
---------------------------------

While I'm at it, can I just repost the rest of the stuff in my archived file since it sort of relates to the "You might be..." idea? Some of it is more stuff inspired by one of Scot's ideas. Here is the rest:
---------------------------------

As a variation on the "You might be a Narnian if..." thread, I began
thinking about what the N.I.C.E. would be like if it were around today.
Certainly it would be involved in marketing and advertising amongst other
things. Here are some ideas I came up with.

o Some time ago, Bill Gates announced plans to put up a series of
satellites around the world that would allow internet access to every person
on earth. I suppose, in an effort to make terminals more user-friendly, one
could construct them with electronic sensors that would detect tiny chips
implanted in people's wrists and foreheads. Then, simply by bowing your head
toward the terminal with outstretched hands, you would properly orient the
implanted chips so that the terminal could automatically log on and link
directly to your own home page. If you are interested in getting in on the
ground floor of this exciting new technology, you might be N.I.C.E. (Side
note: If, in the interest of PR for the new terminal, you try to suppress an
announcement by an obscure archeologist of a recently discovered ancient
form of Hebrew in which the letter 'w' and the number '6' are both
represented by the same character, you might be N.I.C.E.

o Dolls were tradionally girls toys, until some smart marketing agent came
up with the term 'action figure', and a new market for boys' toys took off.
It strikes me that this opens up an even wider market -- 'Action figures for
girls'. Imagine a series of WAIPS toys headed by that 'head of the N.I.C.E.
police' go-getter, 'the Fairy Hardcastle action figure', complete with LED
to light up the end of her cheroot (batteries not included) for extracting
information from enemies using 'the Fairy Method.' Other sets include the
rehabilitated Alcasan action figure -- complete with control panel, drool,
and guillotine (pretty gross, but hey! I've seen some real kids' toys that
are not much better). And for the toddlers in your family, try the new
'Objectivity Crib.' If you'd like to purchase any of these items for your
children, you might be N.I.C.E.
------------------------
In a posting some time ago I had done a take-off of the "You might be a Narnian if..." thread titled "You might be NICE if..." and had mentioned varioius NICE toys, including a set of action figures for girls (full circle, huh? -- they used to be called 'dolls') of the NICE police featuring a Fairy Hardcastle action figure complete with glowing LED in the end of her cheroot (batteries not included) for those 'difficult prisoner information extraction moments'.

Fairy Hardcastle is one of my favourite characters in THS and I would pay a good price to be able to have an action figure of her (the classic and impossibly curved "Barbie" figure she would definately NOT have, although, come to think of it, a Barbie might make a good representative of one of Fairy's 'girls':-)

By the way, the item I enjoyed mentioning the most in that posting was the Objectivity Crib for infants. I have since imagined special mobiles with little black and white pictures on the hanging bits that are all slightly 'wrong' with windup music that plays John Cage compositions, or patterns on the sheets that are not quite regular, a pillow with the occasional 'pewter feather' sewn inside and crib slats that are unevenly spaced. The mind reels with possiblities.
--------------------
Over on the "Into the Wardrobe" forums, Scott Baxter came
up with a humourous Narinian idea.

Scott started with the following:

What if Narnia would have had TV.
What could have been some of thier shows?
Here's a few:

'Talking beasts say the darndest things'
'Calormene's most wanted'
'Suddenly Susan'
'Everybody loves Puddleglum'.
---------------
I then followed with this posting:

Great idea, Scott. Gets "two thumbs up" review from
Puddleglum and the Chief Dufflepud.
Here are a few more:

o 60 Minotaurs
o Jadis, the Charn-age Witch
o Bree Watch
o Dawn Treader: Voyager
o Maugrim, P.I.
o The Bism Bunch
o Little House on the Beaver Dam
o M.A.R.S.H. wiggle
o This Old Stone Table
o New Archenland Workshop
o Rillian's Lowland
o The Cair Paravel Bears

Of course many Narnian shows have been pre-empted lately
by the Rabadash impeachment hearings.
--------------
Scott continued with:

...As to the 'Rabadash' impeachment, that's why it's good
to have such channels like the Narnian History channel.
They have been running a series this week on Narnian royalty.
And of course there's also NTV Land with the old classic
Narnian shows like 'I Love Lucy' and 'Leave it to the Beavers'.
---------------
I then coninued with a post called "Don't get me started":

Ah, yes, "I Love Lucy". Of course we all have our own
favourite episodes. Remember the one where the grown-up
Queen Lucy was trying to help Edmund with his Turkish
Delight addiction (he never did get over it, even after
the White Witch was destroyed)? She secretly got a job
as a line worker at Edmund's "Narnian T. D. Confectionaries"
factory and tried to divert the stream of candy pieces
coming down the conveyor belt, stuffing them into her
corset and filling up her cheeks until she looked like
her old friend Mr. Beaver.
----------------

Whew!,
--Stanley
…on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a fair green country under a swift sunrise.
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Re: You Might Be a Narnian If...

Postby john » 03 Mar 2005, 15:49

Stanley Anderson wrote:Sounds familiar -- oh yeah! That was, er, uh, me, I guess.


Great post, Stanley! I'm sorry for not attributing it to you (I had plain forgotten) -- are you sure it started on the old forums and then was brought to MereLewis? I thought it was the other way around...but (obviously) my memory is flawed with it. Now that we have a more reliable forum that can archive things indefinitely, it's good to have this here, I think. :)
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Re: You Might Be a Narnian If...

Postby Stanley Anderson » 03 Mar 2005, 16:08

DrZeus wrote:
Stanley Anderson wrote:Sounds familiar -- oh yeah! That was, er, uh, me, I guess.


Great post, Stanley! I'm sorry for not attributing it to you (I had plain forgotten) -- are you sure it started on the old forums and then was brought to MereLewis? I thought it was the other way around...but (obviously) my memory is flawed with it. Now that we have a more reliable forum that can archive things indefinitely, it's good to have this here, I think. :)


Here are the beginning paragraphs of the original MereLewis post in my archived file that I didn't post above:

Over on the 'Into the Wardrobe' Narnia message forum, Scott Baxter
posted a parody of the commedian Jeff Foxworthy's "You
might be a Redneck if..." style of one liner jokes with the line "If your
car has a bumpersticker that says you brake for marshwiggles, you might be
a Narnian!". (When I emailed him about posting his idea in MereLewis, he
also came up with another one: 'If your fishing license has a stamp for
Pavenders,you might be a Narnian'.)

I thoght this was a fun concept, so I came up with a few of my own and I
thought perhaps MereLewisians might come up with a few more too. Anyway,
here is my list so far.


So you can see that yes, it did start here with Scott's post, but it's not clear to me now whether I posted my additions to Scott's idea here first or over on MereLewis. I'm almost certain I posted the first batch here anyway, but I'm not sure. In any case, certainly the entire NTV thread occurred here first.

--Stanley
…on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a fair green country under a swift sunrise.
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Re: You Might Be a Narnian If...

Postby robsia » 03 Mar 2005, 22:11

Well, I can do 17, 34 and 43.

So I guess I'm probably not :(
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Re: You Might Be a Narnian If...

Postby robsia » 03 Mar 2005, 22:15

Stanley - what does NICE mean? I get the feeling that is pivotal to the understanding of the vast majority of your post.

(Trans: I don't have a clue what you're talking about)
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Re: You Might Be a Narnian If...

Postby john » 03 Mar 2005, 23:29

Linda wrote:Stanley - what does NICE mean?


I'm not Stanley, but oh well...N.I.C.E. is a sinister group of scientists researching use of technology to rule mankind from Lewis' Space Trilogy.
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Re: You Might Be a Narnian If...

Postby Stanley Anderson » 04 Mar 2005, 16:41

DrZeus wrote:
Linda wrote:Stanley - what does NICE mean?


I'm not Stanley, but oh well...N.I.C.E. is a sinister group of scientists researching use of technology to rule mankind from Lewis' Space Trilogy.


Yes, although actual scientists, like perhaps Hingest (who was killed for his independent thinking in the book), were extremely few and far between. The N.I.C.E seems to have been made up mostly of bureaucrats and hangers-on amongst the variety of macrobe-possessed heads.

Linda wrote:what does NICE mean? I get the feeling that is pivotal to the understanding of the vast majority of your post.


Yes, Linda, familiarity with That Hideous Strength (the last book in the Space Trilogy) is essential to "getting" (only) the middle section of that post. But the "vast majority" of it (ie 2/3 of it comprising the beginning and ending sections of the post) was associated only with Narnian familiarity.

--Stanley
…on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a fair green country under a swift sunrise.
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Re N.I.C.E.

Postby Bill » 04 Mar 2005, 23:15

To be precise, it stands for the National Institute of Co-ordinated Experiments.

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You might be a Narnian if...

Postby Guest » 15 Mar 2005, 04:00

Here are some I came up with.

You might be a Narnian if...

You come out of the room and find that not even a minute has passed.
You suddenly find yourself wisked away.
You wake up and notice that a dragon claw is moving the instant you plan to move.
You get peevish when anyone talks about the Autumn Feast.
You always seem to botch up your list of tasks.
You long to see World's End.
You see an old friend who has aged much too fast.
You can never get the whole time concept right.
You get the feeling there are invisible people watching.
You don't care, you will read the spell.
Your distant relative wonders what they teach in schools these days.
You attend Experiment House.
You've always liked the painting of that ship in your room.
You find yourself playing charades with a dragon.
You remember when you were a dragon.
Your next camping trip is to Bism.
You've drunk diamond juice.
You've been looking for the words Under Me.
You've sucked up to giants.

Let me know how you like these.
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Re: You might be a Narnian if...

Postby john » 15 Mar 2005, 08:52

robomb162 wrote:Here are some I came up with.

You might be a Narnian if...

You come out of the room and find that not even a minute has passed.
You suddenly find yourself wisked away.
You wake up and notice that a dragon claw is moving the instant you plan to move.
You get peevish when anyone talks about the Autumn Feast.
You always seem to botch up your list of tasks.
You long to see World's End.
You see an old friend who has aged much too fast.
You can never get the whole time concept right.
You get the feeling there are invisible people watching.
You don't care, you will read the spell.
Your distant relative wonders what they teach in schools these days.
You attend Experiment House.
You've always liked the painting of that ship in your room.
You find yourself playing charades with a dragon.
You remember when you were a dragon.
Your next camping trip is to Bism.
You've drunk diamond juice.
You've been looking for the words Under Me.
You've sucked up to giants.

Let me know how you like these.


Well done! Great additions!
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Re: You might be a Narnian if...

Postby cnarramoore » 30 May 2005, 09:58

Oh no Blue Collar Narnia.

Please oh please dont let Larry the Cable Guy get ahold of this, he will have gravy all over everything.
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Re: You Might Be a Narnian If...

Postby A#minor » 30 May 2005, 17:50

You Might Be a Narnian If.....

You walk with your head high and arms swinging, instead of riding in a litter through Tashbaan.

You dream of little cloven hoofs dancing on green lawns.

You constantly exclaim, "By the Lion's Mane!"
"My brain and this world don't fit each other, and there's an end of it!" - G.K. Chesterton
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re: You Might Be a Narnian If...

Postby john » 22 Aug 2006, 08:10

I thought this deserved a peek from those who may not have seen it yet. :)

Pardon the bump...
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re: You Might Be a Narnian If...

Postby kati » 22 Aug 2006, 17:17

21. You have ever been beaten silly by a mouse.



man i didnt think any1 knew that! well im embarassed! :dance:
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