by Ben2747 » December 8th, 2008, 1:50 am
John - I absolutely agree with the prior posts. There is some counseling that needs to happen, and there will be a tribunal. There is usually a council that is run by the chancery. Your girlfriend's ex-husband and his fiancee should contact their parish priest to get the process started. I disagree with one former statement, in that 50% of all annulments granted worldwide are issued in the US. We are "annulment happy" in this country - it's easier than you might think. In this case, however, it seems like a straight-forward case. If one or both parties entered the marriage intending not to have children, then there was never a marriage. That's what an annulment is. A recognition that there was some impediment which prevented the marriage from occuring at the time the parties exchanged their vows. A change of intention later on is not a determining factor, and it didn't have to be both parties, anyhow.
There is no blame, no accusation, no finding of "fault" in this process. In fact, it might be a real blessing, both to your girlfriend and to her ex-husband, in the sense that it can give both of them an opportunity to reflect on marriage and the total giving of self to the other in their NEW relationships! I guess, in that sense, it can be a blessing to all of you. And it doesn't even sound like people have to "get their story straight," or manipulate the truth to get an outcome. That would be pointless, anyhow. An annulment is simply a statement of fact. When people talk about the Church "granting an annulment," the word "grant" can be a little misleading. It's not as if the Church is changing the status of their marriage. It's simply recognizing the fact that it never was, in the first place.
Interestingly enough, a priest did not marry your girlfriend and her ex-husband. If there was a marriage (and it sounds like there wasn't), THEY were the administrators of the sacrament. This is unique among all the sacraments - the priest is an observer, but does not cause the sacrament to come to be. The priest just blessed that "marriage." But if they did not have the intention to do what the Church says you do when you do, in fact, get married, it's essentially as if two people stood at the altar and said, "I apple pie your nose hair." There were two people, and they both said something, but that's the extent of it. In fact, saying the non-sensical thing with the right intention would have had more effect than saying the right thing with a different intention. Nobody is putting anything "assunder," because there never was a union.