by A#minor » September 21st, 2005, 2:29 am
I believe Tolkien wrote the following joke during his college days:
"A young man wished to purchase a birthday gift for a lady friend. After much meditation and consideration he decided upon a pair of gloves as being appropriate. As his sister had some shopping to do, he accompanied her to a ladies wearing apparel shop.
While he was selecting the gloves, his sister made a purchase of a pair of drawers for herself. In delivering the parcels that afternoon, by mistake the drawers were left at his sweetheart's door with a note as follows:
Dear Velma: This little token is to remind you that I haven't forgotten your birthday. I didn't choose it because I thought that you needed them, or because you haven't been in the habit of wearing them, or because we go out evenings. Had it not been for my sister I would have gotten long ones, but she says they are wearing the short ones - with one button.
They are a very delicate color, I know, but the lady clerk showed me a pair she had worn for three weeks, and they were scarcely soiled at all. How I wish I might put them on you for the first time! No doubt many other gentleman's hands will touch them before I get a chance to see you again, but I hope you will think of me every time you put them on.
I had the lady clerk try them on and they looked very neat on her. I did not know the exact size, but I should be capable of judging nearer than anyone else. When you put them on for the first time put a little powder in them and they will slip on easier. When you remove them, blow in the them before laying them away, as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.
Hoping that you will accept them in the same spirit in which they are given and that you will wear them to the dance Friday night,
I remain,
Lovingly yours,
John
P.S. Note the number of times I will kiss the back of them in the coming year! John"
"My brain and this world don't fit each other, and there's an end of it!" - G.K. Chesterton